Three years ago today, I said "I choose you" to the love of my life and best friend and I thought I couldn't possibly be happier. We spent four years together, moving and growing and stretching (sometimes joyfully, sometimes painfully) together before we finally stood before God, our families and friends and sealed it with a kiss.
We have always been good at laughing, you and I. I know that you pretend like I'm not funny sometimes (even though we both totally know I am soooo funny). Secretly, I think you laugh sometimes when I'm not just to make me feel better about my lame joke that I totally worked all day on. You always roll our eyes when I start doing some strange new dance in the kitchen or down the stairs, but I see the laughter in your eyes when you call me crazy (and I agree with you). We both know you like crazy.
I was wrong though, thinking I couldn't love you more than I did that day three years ago. That's been one of our secrets to success, hasn't it? I loved you then. But the stretching and growing since then, combined with the intertwining of our two hearts and minds and souls has been simply indescribable. I never could have expected this - nothing could have prepared me for it. I love you, deeply, and the decision we made 3 years ago was the best one yet (though, I should probably warn you that I may feel differently in a few months - Cameron seems like a pretty good decision so far too).
We've been through a lot, you and I. Not everything has been "perfect" and we have certainly had our share of pain in our lives together. No one else can possibly know those little and not-so-little things you and I have faced in each other and ourselves. You have pushed me to be a better person through it all though. I used to be scared - scared of my past, scared of what it might mean for the future, scared to trust and truly love, scared to do simple things like stand up for myself or big things like go out on a limb and start running a business. You helped teach me to be strong. And somehow, you never questioned whether or not I could do it - you saw something in me I didn't know was there.
I cried that day. You didn't see it, but I so did. It was brief and my heart was too full to keep it in anymore. I wanted you to see a strong woman coming down to meet you at the end of that aisle, but I still cried a little. That might seem small now, since I cry often, but I suppose that's just one more way things have changed and evolved with us. Maybe I always cried. Lol.
I know I'm totally embarrassing you with this, but you know what a romantic I can be sometimes. And sometimes, I think it's important for me to say publicly just how amazed and blessed I am by you. You have given me the best days of my life. And you have given me a son, though we haven't been able to meet him yet. I know the stuff we have in front of us won't be easy, but I have a pretty good idea how it'll come out in the end.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you for your humor, your witty conversation, your laughter, your smile and your eyes, your strength of faith and character, your vulnerability, your support, your encouragement, and most of all, your love. I look forward to what God has for us ahead and to facing it together as husband and wife. Happy Anniversary, my love.
*all images taken by Jessica Verma, November 5, 2005*
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